Do you remember Senioritis... that feeling you had during the last few months of your senior year of high school, and then again during your senior year of college... you know the one where you didn't want to do any of you class work. That excited, panicky, forward looking feeling of knowing that the future was in the palm of your hand, and if you could just hurry up and get out of this dreadful place (i.e. high school or college classes) then you could be free as a weed to explore the wide world opening up before you?
Yeah... I remember it from both my high school and my college years, and now I'm experiencing it again. I cannot wait to be done with work. To put these menial tasks aside. To spend the majority of my waking hours working towards something I believe in, instead of contributing to a system that is destroying the quality of food in America (watch Food Inc.... seriously, it's not gross, just informative and encouraging... and you deserve to know who controls your food and the FDA).
I can't wait to take a week (unpaid -yeah my job sucks and I only get 5 paid days off for every six months, used 'em all in Jan for emergency surgery... which equals no more paid time off for me until December 2010... worst job ever with no benefits, and no time off... awesome!)... where was I... oh yeah I can't wait to take a week off to visit my family and fly out to San Francisco to house hunt... I can't wait for my last day (July 9th) to arrive, so I can hand in my key, and my parking pass, and walk out this door to never return. I can't wait until I no longer have to struggle to get motivated to do something, that not only do I not believe in, but actually I am pretty much morally opposed to. I can't wait until I don't feel trapped anymore, trapped in that I have to pay the bills between now and when school starts, and my last day is far enough away for me to wallow in misery for another 40 days, but not far enough away for me to even consider finding another job.... and most of all I cannot wait for that big, wide, unknown expanse of my life in California as a medical student to open itself up to me. I can't wait to see where it exceeds my expectations, and to learn the lessons about myself that I'll learn along the way. I can't wait to feel the sea breeze on my face, and to smell the ocean from my front yard...
So, loves for the third time in my life... I have senioritis... and it is as bad as I remembered it to be when I was 18 and 22... some things never change loves... they simply don't!