Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I love Grace

I hate cancer. I hate having a split home. I hate instability. I hate this weight that's sitting on my chest and making it hard to breathe. I hate it when the distance I've so carefully created and the boundaries I've so purposefully set all come crashing down leaving me vulnerable and exposing lesions that just don't seem to heal... Days like today I fall wounded into Grace that is more than sufficient. I love Grace.

I don't want this blog to become all about cancer and struggles... but these things are part of life, even preppy life... so for now... this is where I am...

Today was Dad's first radiologist visit. It was draining to say the least. As an adult I'm not very close with either of my parents, so coming "home" is always a unique challenge, even in the best of circumstances. In a case like this it is heart wrenching... but there is always Grace...

1. The beautiful mountains standing strongly, silently, awe inspiring and reminding me that I am not alone, and that God shows his mercy in that the sun and the rain fall on everyone.

2. A loving extended family that fills in the gaps and holes from my own broken home

3. Financial stability to enable me to be a support in a time of crisis

4. A joyful 9 year old little sister who's all smiles and wanting to play and full of adoration for me, in spite of all my flaws (and the extra 8 pounds that my hips have adopted this year)

5. A wonderful talk with my loving and accepting aunt, what an amazing family of strong, loving, and intelligent women I have!


Coverse to the Oscars said...

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KK said...

This is your blog so if cancer is touching your life right now, of course you should feel free to blog about it! I am so sorry for your dad dealing with this and for the discomfort in your family. Perhaps this situation might bring you closer to your parents. I so admire you for looking at the bright side of things too. That takes so much strength and has really taught me to find my own daily graces too!

Beth Dunn said...

Stay strong! We are here for you. xoxo

Legallyblondemel said...

I'm so very sorry.

How good of you to keep a grateful heart & be looking for grace moments, especially in a time like this. Sending you good thoughts.