Sometimes readers, I simply fail to be the person I want to be... my morning commute was one such example. Although, I wish I had some funny and thought provoking story about road rage to insert here, the real, whole truth is that I spent my entire commute this morning thinking about all the reasons why I dislike my job. Actually, going so far as to imagine telling my boss all these things while handing over my resignation. *I am hanging my head in shame as I type this
I have no intention of quitting my job, and for the most part I'm okay with my job. The biggest challenge is that it's not fully engaging, and it really doesn't ignite passion or excitement in me. I care about doing a good job, and meeting deadlines, but I can't seem to get really excited or visionary about what I do. Which is why I call it a job and not a career. This is also why I am trying one last time to get into medical school.
Please don't misunderstand... in this economy I am so thankful to have a job, and my boss is a wonderful person. I just sort of feel unfulfilled. Part of this I blame on the part of me that feels like I should be something great and do something extraordinary. I mean in reality most people are simply office drones of one sort or another, so why exactly do I feel entitled to being something so much more? The other part of this I blame on my dreadful commute, I mean how can one maintain a positive attitude when it takes one 45 minutes to an hour and 15 minutes to drive the 13.3 miles from one's driveway to one's parking garage? Any of you ever have mornings like this?
On another I'm a terrible human being topic (okay maybe that's slightly overdramatic!), lets talk about crash dieting. I go through periods where my body image is in a perfectly healthy place. Where I try to remain somewhat active, and although I try to eat healthy I don't really watch what I eat. Then every once in a while I'll try on a pair of pants I haven't worn in a few months and they'll be awfully snug. This downward spiral quickly starts where I begin to think about the fact that every year since 2006 I have gained 2-3 pounds a year, and after ten years, that's going to be a lot of weight. Then I start to feel like I should perhaps take action now to prevent the future me from swelling to the size of Harry Potter's aunt Marge.
I'll admit I've tried a few weird crash diets, and as always is the case they never work, and any weight I may have lost quickly comes back.
So readers, I know I'm not the only one who does this.... what do you do when you have a sudden body image crisis?
I'm definitely thankful for grace, and days like today thankful that the world is so much bigger than my little image crisis.
1. Rain in Austin, Woo Hoo!
2. A wonderful, growing relationship with Preppy Boyfriend. His attitude lately has been an inspiration to me!
3. An upcoming, much needed vacation... better get over these body image issues before a bikini is needed (I'm halfway hoping it rains over labor day, thus eliminating the need for a bikini).
4. My sweet pups who always shower me with unconditional love
5. Evening walks with the pups!