Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Shattered....

Hello Lovelies,

This week has been rather a traumatic one in the preppy household. With the loss of our very dear and lovely friend Lisa from Bumpkin on a Swing - Trish has posted the most thoughtful and kind and eloquent post at a time when words positively escape me. Lisa was diagnosed with ovarian cancer that had rapidly spread and taken over her body in three weeks. Lisa my friend, the loss of you leaves me breathless... the emptyness in your corner of the world a shocking reminder of your vitality... I'll look for you friend in the wildflowers blowing in the breeze, and remember you friend in the warm sand beneath my toes... but mostly friend... I'll simply miss you.Truly I have very few words to share, but am so thankful for Trishy who went to be by her side when we couldn't and who has courageously shared the sorrowful news with our friends in blogland.



Yesterday, our home was broken into. In Broad Daylight, while the preppy boyfriend was gone for maybe an hour. The preppy dogs are okay... but I feel... well violated... as though I may never be safe again and what on earth am I going to do when the preppy boyfriend travels and I live here all alone? We live in a very 'safe' neighborhood for this area, and yet here we are, only a few weeks into this grand journey of med school, and I'm leaving class to rush home and cancel bank accounts and credit cards and fill out police reports.

Nothing feels okay, or solid, or stable right now. It's as though my whole little world might just disappear if I turn my head too quickly. I just want to sit and be still, and weep. Weep for the loss of my friend, weep for the loss of my safety. To gather everyone precious to me and just sit them down into one room and tell them how very much I love them, to look into their faces and be reminded that this world isn't only full of terrible things... but there are also lovely, and kind, and beautiful and wonderful things.

The reality however, is that I have very little time to grieve... very little time to feel the shock and violation of my home being broken into. I am a med student and that means greater volumes of work than I could possibly describe. So for now, I'll shed a few tears when I can, and push the shattered pieces of myself to the side... because I'm on the journey to becoming a physician... although right now I feel less like a physician and more like a shattered child crying in the corner.

11 comments:

duchessbelles said...

I'm so sorry. Hang in there.

Kate (Southern-Belle-Simple) said...

i'm so sorry about everything....i know it's tough when we have hectic, busy lives, but you must allow yourself a little time to grieve and then some time to heal. if not, everything will get pushed down too far and then show up again down the road when you least expect it. even if it's just a couple of hours to listen to sad songs and cry. bless your heart sweetie pie....i'll be thinking of you! love from blogland! xoxo

Lisa said...

So sorry for your loss and difficult times. Another fellow blogger who is also going through a very tough time put it so eloquently when she said....

"In order to get to the other side of the room, you have to walk through it."

Have faith.
xo Lisa

Jane said...

I'm so so so sorry. I'll be praying for you friend!

Mrs. Lynch said...

Sorry to hear about your loss and the break in. I know it seems like "what else could happen?" but know this...your friend was loved and she never left...she'll always be in your heart. And for the perps that broke in...they'll never win. A life that's main purpose is to steal from others will never succeed. See what you guys can do to beef up on security so you can at least feel safe alone in the house. It's never fair to not feel safe in your own home. Take care.

Tim and Randi Weigle said...

I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of this. What a huge loss in your friend and also in your loss of security. I know exactly how that feels. I hope you find comfort during this time.

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry dear. loss is a hard cross to bear, a thing that never fully leaves your shoulders.

California has not made a good impression of itself so far :( for that, my heart breaks.

if you're in SF on Friday and need a spoonful of happiness, go to Humphrey Slocombe around 530pm. I'll buy you a cone :)

xoxo

Keri said...

I'm so sorry. Praying for you, and Trish and for Lisa's family...How horrible that your new home has been broken into. Try to hand in there. Maybe it is good that you have med school to take your mind off some of these things. Be safe and here is to making new happy memories in California :)
xoxo

Practically Perfect... said...

What a rough, crummy week. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. And if it wasn't enough, you got broken into! What a way to start things out! I hope that everything goes smoothly with filing police reports, and that whoever it was that broke into your home is caught (or at least learns their lesson in some other fashion). Thinking of you!

Scientific Housewife said...

So sorry for your week. Hang in there, things will get better.

Mrs. Dawkter said...

I'm so sorry. What a horrible week. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. You're in my thoughts.