This week has been rather a traumatic one in the preppy household. With the loss of our very dear and lovely friend Lisa from Bumpkin on a Swing - Trish has posted the most thoughtful and kind and eloquent post at a time when words positively escape me. Lisa was diagnosed with ovarian cancer that had rapidly spread and taken over her body in three weeks. Lisa my friend, the loss of you leaves me breathless... the emptyness in your corner of the world a shocking reminder of your vitality... I'll look for you friend in the wildflowers blowing in the breeze, and remember you friend in the warm sand beneath my toes... but mostly friend... I'll simply miss you.Truly I have very few words to share, but am so thankful for Trishy who went to be by her side when we couldn't and who has courageously shared the sorrowful news with our friends in blogland.
Yesterday, our home was broken into. In Broad Daylight, while the preppy boyfriend was gone for maybe an hour. The preppy dogs are okay... but I feel... well violated... as though I may never be safe again and what on earth am I going to do when the preppy boyfriend travels and I live here all alone? We live in a very 'safe' neighborhood for this area, and yet here we are, only a few weeks into this grand journey of med school, and I'm leaving class to rush home and cancel bank accounts and credit cards and fill out police reports.
Nothing feels okay, or solid, or stable right now. It's as though my whole little world might just disappear if I turn my head too quickly. I just want to sit and be still, and weep. Weep for the loss of my friend, weep for the loss of my safety. To gather everyone precious to me and just sit them down into one room and tell them how very much I love them, to look into their faces and be reminded that this world isn't only full of terrible things... but there are also lovely, and kind, and beautiful and wonderful things.
The reality however, is that I have very little time to grieve... very little time to feel the shock and violation of my home being broken into. I am a med student and that means greater volumes of work than I could possibly describe. So for now, I'll shed a few tears when I can, and push the shattered pieces of myself to the side... because I'm on the journey to becoming a physician... although right now I feel less like a physician and more like a shattered child crying in the corner.